Is God a Referee or a Coach?

Years ago I found myself in a counseling situation with a young woman who was experiencing a faith crisis.   I was floored when she told me pointedly that she had no doubt that God existed.  She just didn’t think He was good!

I had not occurred to me that anyone who accepted God’s reality could question His love and benevolence.  I have since come to realize that such feelings are more common than not.  Many point to evil and tragedy as supposed proof that God either does not exist or doesn’t care about mankind.

Others view the commandments laid down in scripture as restrictions.  They feel that if God in fact exists, He surely isn’t any fun!  Latter-day Saints are not exempt from those feelings.  How, they ask, could a loving God let them struggle with joblessness, with illness, and family conflicts?  How could he expect them to spend two hours  in church, additional hours each week in unpaid church service, and pay ten percent of their income in tithing? And did He really expect them to attend the temple, do missionary work, visit others in need, and miss out on most of the activities their friends find enjoyable?

One of the best answers I have ever heard came in a talk by a speaker in Palo Alto.  I have long since forgotten his name.  But I will never forget the point he made.  He said it makes all the difference whether we view God as a coach or a referee.

Much of mankind through the centuries has understood God to be a stern referee.  They are sure He is waiting to penalize players in the game of life for infractions of the rules.  They think He is more interested in sending humanity to an endless hell than grudgingly allowing a few into heaven.

If, however, we view God as an all-wise and all-loving coach, who desperately wants His players to have the thrill of victory, our perspective changes completely.  The challenges of mortality become the equivalent of athletic practice sessions.  The bumps and bruises of the game become a small price to pay for the championship trophy.  And “commandments” come to be viewed as His sharing the secrets of success and happiness with those whom He eagerly wants to succeed.

I have come to know through personal experience that God is a coach.  While I don’t always enjoy or understand some of the discomforts and disappointments of mortality, I am convinced I am better for passing through them.  And the peace and joy I find through following God’s recipes here and now give me great assurance that God is preparing each of us for all the inner peace here and now and all the eternal happiness we can possibly envision—and more.